Dr Otunnu, what can you do to save Uganda in 18 months?

Comrades, this to me is a masterpiece of an analysis. Behold this intelligent piece from Akaki, they are not my words;

Omera Otunnu, I read with excitement the Daily Monitor report, “Otunnu starts familiarisation tour today”, published on August 24, indicating that you were ‘expected to meet supporters in Jinja, Tororo and Mbale before proceeding to northern and western Uganda’.

The last time, 29 years ago, when another Omera, Dr Milton Obote, landed in Bushenyi, his supporters, family and relatives said they were welcoming him back from his long trip to Singapore. Those who saw him close swore that he wept at this sight of semi-naked or rug-draped dancers who welcomed him.

May I also warmly welcome you back from your long peace talks with Yoweri Museveni, which took place in Nairobi in 1986? Like Obote did in July 1980, you will soon find out, if you have not already done so, that Uganda is a totally different country from the one you left 23 years ago. It is divided is four ways: by war, wealth, access to resources and law. Whereas the south and west have enjoyed peace and tranquillity, the north and east have been ravaged by war in which a million people may have lost their lives or are physically and psychologically maimed.

If, 23 years on, the damages of the five-year war are yet to be repaired, it is reasonable to conclude that it will take at least 100 years for the north and east to recover. Whereas about 5 per cent of Uganda’s 32m people are basking in wealth, living in houses that are comparable to the ones where you used to attend diplomatic receptions in Manhattan, New York, and enjoying the best lifestyle, education and medical services money can buy at home and abroad; the other 95 per cent are trapped in a dehumanising poverty, and dying at home for lack of medicine.

Whereas all Ugandans are entitled, as a right, to access the most lucrative government jobs in the army, police and the civil service, as well as business contracts; the majority are totally excluded.
From December 2005 to February 2006, during the last election campaigns, I personally organised a survey, which found that 1.75 million people from the north and east, holding university degrees and other professional qualifications, were unemployed.

And whereas there is one law that protects local and international criminals, such as the ones who invaded and looted the DRC; stole GAVI and Global Fund; murdered innocent Ugandans in corner Kilak, Atiak Acol Bur in Acholi and Mukura in Teso; there is another law, which criminalises the innocent.

It was under this two-tracked law that on November 14, 2005, Dr Kizza Besigye was arrested and charged with rape, terrorism and treason, the last one punishable by death. Five years on, the government has not produced a scintilla of any treasonable acts. In that time, several of his “comrades-in-terrorism” have died in detention.

And it is under the same two-tracked law that some 1.8 Bakiga communities living in Bunyoro are looking at the abyss. It is against these bleak realities that I must ask you what you have planned to do and achieve within next 18 month before Uganda holds the next general elections before March 2011.

To concentrate your mind on the time constrains before you, let me put this to you in a personal context. If you decide to reclaim the late Rev. Otunnu’s farm in Mucwini and start to prepare the plots to grow Gwana (cassava), Pull (groundnuts) Layata, (sweet potatoes), Malakwan, Kal (millet), none of these staple food items will have been ready to feed your campaign agents and prospective voters, should you decide to go to Parliament.

And, as a celebrated bachelor, should you decide to take an original bride, and have a baby, the only place to find one is in the Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camps in Pabo, Kilak, Atiak and scores of other camps in Acholi, Lango and Teso sub-regions. Sadly, your child will be only nine months old in February 2011, too young to run any errand.

Just randomly pronounce the name “Acirocan” (I have endured poverty) in Acholi and Lango sub-regions, or “Acan” (poverty) in Teso; and literally thousands of prospective brides will surround you in no time!

If you asked for my advice on what to do in the next 18 months, I would strongly advise you to persuade the opposition to drastically scale down their list of demands for reforms to just one item: the Electoral Commission.

All other reforms would automatically fall in place once there is an independent Electoral Commission whose members have got not only the power to bar RDCs and other partisan government officials from acting as electoral officials from village to national levels; but also the courage of their conviction to tell the world, as Samuel Kivuitu, the former chairman of the Kenya Election Commission did, that he was ordered to change the presidential election figures.

I am quite certain that your incomparable legal mind and diplomatic skills have prepared you well enough to effectively contribute to free and fair elections in 2011.

Meanwhile, let us pray together as your beloved late father Rev. Otunnu would expect: “Oh God, please protect me against my friends in the opposition for I can avoid my enemies in the Movement!”

A glamour of hope

People, my silence does in no way imply that I had been crunched by you know what or who for that matter. Far from that I interfaced with strange but promising realities right here in my backyard. For a long time i had always thought tha when fish rots from the head, the whole body is gone, little did i know that a few parts can hold normalcy. A couple of months ago i embarked on a journey to guage not if but how ill the Ugandan society is. It was clear that large chunks of its socio-cultural fabric is indeed gone. The system actually thrives on its ills rather than falling by it. This is a new paradigm in public management discourse. The bureacracy can be inept and ill but continues to thrive on those very ills. However, i was stunned by one of the public sector arms that still cherishes competence and merit as its modus operandi. And at that point, I gladly announce my career leap from the NGO world to the public sector. Aluta Continua!

Soccer, pain and stress

This friday 15th May 2009, Uganda's soccer powerhouse KCC FC takes on a certain bayelsa from Nigeria....I hope i have spelt it right. You know the"Ki-Nigeria" accent can be a mouthful. Any how, am more concerned about the current soccer craze in Uganda like many other areas of the world. When a young man in Raila's backyard ends his life after a dodgy display by his club, then you know how serious this is. Over the weekend i had the luxury of joining some locals in the dodgy but hugely popular video halls commonly known as "Bibanda" in Kampala. The investor who owns this spot complained that the turn up for the Arsenal-Chelsea game was dismal because according to him the bulk of the Arsenal fans like their Chelsea counterparts had lost faith in results. These fans had been subjected to lossess mid week in the champions league and the pain they had caused their followers showed no signs of subsiding. I imagined this is a stress management decision by the fans. It can be very painful having glueing your eyes to that screen when your team is being taken to the cleaners in a football match. I understand the pain. It reminds me of the KCC-El Merrikh game at Nakivubo when the homeside conceded a goal. I saw a guy throw off his girlfriend's arms from his shoulders. This pain and stress can be infectious. For those of you who will be at Nakivubo on Friday, lets spur on KCC all the way.

Fear, Hope and Humiliation: The main variables at play in Uganda’s political arena

As the 2011 elections or “erections” as some mother tongue influences dictate, draws closer, tales of accusations, counter accusations and the sprouting of splinter groups are abound in the media in Uganda. When Besigye coos, Museveni imagines he has barked and vice versa. When FDC flaps its wings, UPC feels it has been scratched. On the fringes, a certain Namisango O.K has created some Federo alliance of sorts. All this activity smacks of three things; Fear, Hope and Humiliation. The fear of losing power can magnify a molehill into a mountain while the hope for change can be misconstrued as an attempt to go against the big man. On the other hand no one wants to be humiliated. Who can stand his wife being raped in his face? Certainly since talks of erections or rather elections continues, we want no victims here….we must all win….Uganda must win.

When Uganda's moral rot becomes acceptable

Last night Kagu was on BBC busy defending the appointment of his sweetheart to the cabinet. It got me thinking about disinhibition in epemiology....when continuos exposure to an epidemic breeds a false sense of immunity and a decrease in conviction. In the same vein i think Uganda's moral fabric has degenerated so much that corruption has become our next door neighbour with whom we live in harmony. If appointing a relative to a public office can pass for purpoted competence of that relative then what is nepotism? There is certainly a different definition for it in Uganda. When billions of shillings are stolen by your brother and you claim to have forgiven him because he apologised, in Uganda thats being considerate. In Uganda if you steal money from public cauffers and build mansions on Kampala's swamps, you are simply a nationalist because you are re-investing that money within Uganda. If the president is towing an unrealistic policy line and you try to talk him out of it or criticize it, then you are unpatriotic. Pearl of Africa indeed. I pity the old widow next door whose attempts to secure legal transfers of her late husband's belongings through the adminitstrator general's office have stalled because the Men in Black at the office are demanding some "chai" lest her files are shelved to gather dust. All these urgly happenings thrive under our noses. If you are a pearl in this Pearl, RISE UP to the challenge....stop lip service.

Of NGOs that are being bitten by the economic depression

The onset of the economic depression had left many thinking of its effect on private sector agencies. Not alot of thought has been spared on its ravages on the humanitarian aid world. Now word reaching Lwani is that the economic depression has finally touched down at the backyards of some reputable NGOs in Uganda. Apparently the worst hit has been a sports NGO somewhere on one of the hills of Kampala. Its no laughing matter. Some fellas in one of the reputable UN donor agencies in Kampala decided to connive with accomplices in one of the key government ministries to source for a new implementing partner at the expense of this sports NGO. As at week 2 of March, staff at this NGO are in panic as rumours of lay-offs is rife. Apparently the bosses at this NGO are actually very cagy over the issue. May you please pray for these folks.

Mr. D's grad ritual...Lwani takes you behind the scenes

Talk of the ritual seems to surface every other time. Apparently alot happened behind the scenes during Mr. D's grad ritual. From non-sober belles to sweaty ones....talk of being spoilt for choice! For starters Mr. D is the man of the moment...Just google him. As usual lwani is everywhere.