Monkey Sex

While humans have Have Chosen Codependence Over Independence & Trademarked it Love, Monkeys have taken love and satisfaction to another level. There are endless tales of humans so madly in love but devoid of sexual satisfaction. Our distant cousins..the monkeys...have on the other hand perfected the art of satisfaction derived from sex.

It seems male monkeys can’t orgasm unless the female they are mating with screams out his name, well I am only guessing it’s his name, the report stated that the females utter loud distinctive calls while fornicating which incites the males thrusting mechanism and results in ejaculation 59% of the time! Who knew there were scientists on the planet sitting around watching monkey sex and counting the number of thrusts? I don’t think I did want to know this, did you?

Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha. Don't try this out in your bedroom.

Big Up.....Boys Just Wanna Have Fun

Can you attempt adding a caption to this picture? My guess may just be as good as yours. Whoever he is, i salute this young man for wearing a gallant smile while moving his body to the rythm of music. An old man told me last nite that whereas in their times dancing was done with such dignity, gentility and precision, the current generation does it with the roughness of climbing an anthill. Mr. Edu, were you en-route to an anthill? Over to you.

2008 Buganda crisis in perspective

For starters, its now 5 days since 3 Buganda Kingdom officials were arrested and detained by state for alledged terrorism amongst other crimes. The tabloids in Kampala today carried a statement from none other than afande Tinye, the army general who oversaw the infamous "operation north" in 1991 during whih period there was a media blackout in northern Uganda.

However, thats a story for another day.

Today Lwani puts the 2008 Buganda crisis in perspective. Flashback to 1966.....The issue of the 'lost counties' of Buyaga, Buwekula and Bugangaizi became a hot issue and a referendum was held in those counties, to resolve it.The Kabaka and the Lukiiko opposed this referendum and tried to organize a boycott against it but to no avail. This created tension between Obote and the Mengo establishment. Especially when the Kabaka refused to sign the instruments transferring the two counties of Buyaga and Bugangaizi, which opted to return to Bunyoro. Apparently the Kabaka had even gone ahead to mobilize an armed resistance against the UPC led government. Hell broke loose, Idi Amin led troops and attacked Lubiri, forcing the Kabaka to scamper for his life. In effect, a marraige of convinience, depicted in te photo below, came to a sad and infamous end. UPC appaently acted in favour of a republic and not a monarchy.

Fast forward to the future....2008 today, NRM-O in power, a general in state house, the Kabaka without 3 of his ministers whose where-abouts and wellbeing remain a matter of speculation. Inevitably the two centres of power, one national/superior and the other tribal/subordinate are at the cross roads. However, nobody knows what exactly went wrong. A marriage that has lasted over a decade and a half is in a balance. On July 31st 1993, Mutebi was crowned as Kabaka in a colourful ceremony, and in the eyes of many....the NRM had re-instated the Kabakaship.

Happier times followed with the Kabaka wedding lady Sylvia, and there was no doubt that all was well. The cultural institution was enjoying the affection of the national institution.

Today, a debate on land and the land ammendment act has become so passionate and tribal punctuated by accusations, counter accusations and suspicion whose end result is uncertainity. As the three Buganda ministers remain in detention, lets remember that the stick which is used to whip your co-wife will most lkely be the very stick that will be used to lash u. Could we be witnessing the 2008 Buganda crisis unfolding or even surpassing the much misunderstood and distorted 1966 Buganda crisis? I leave it to you to decipher.

Post-war reconstruction in northern Uganda: Has it taken off?

Guns have fallen silent in northern Uganda and as expected the need for the much-needed post-war reconstruction process surged to the fore. The ravages of this war are so far reaching that a concerted effort and sincere commitment towards reconstruction is the ultimate anti-dote. However, will the promise of this anti-dote usher in actual fulfillment? Talk of Northern Uganda entering a development phase-an evolution from emergency, has become the theme-song of humanitarian agencies, government and other development partners. IDPs are gradally treking back to their original homes away from the camps and hope is rife that sooner or later life will be back to normal. However with roads like the above in their current state, development partners have their work cut out.

However the reality on the ground seems far from the talk in NGO boardrooms and District council halls. While most of the villages to which the IDPs are returning are so remote that access to basic social ammenities like healthcare, education and water facilities is a toll order, the security in some of these places leaves alot to be desired. While public awareness tools like the above signpost warning against landmines are good, action needs to be taken in providing these returnees with protection from gangsters who remain a huge threat to the civillians. Social services like health have to be taken to the people and not just concentrated in under-staffed and ill-equipped health centres so far away from the masses. Mobile health services will come in handy and Village Health Teams should be evenly spread and adequately facilitated. Water facilities like springs and boreholes have to be constructed or protected. And of course psychosocial services are required to shape the mindset of the people who for two decades have witnessed the most horrific attrocities. Let monuments like the one of the 1995 Attiak massacre below, not reopen the wounds of suffering but rather inspire the masses to work harder in order to thrive and not just survive.
Development partners should not just engage in humanitarian marketing drives through bogus signposts and billboards, but rather work harder for greater impact on the lives on the masses. Some of the NGOs in northern Uganda and their employees are of very inferior quality and are literary masquareding as development partners and workers. Such agencies should either shape up or ship out. Agencies that work less towards impact and more towards process and vain routines have no place in the post war reconstruction efforts in Northern Uganda.

Of Uganda's Loud-Mouthed Billionaires

Some of you must have heard about Gordon Wavamunno's net worth being declared at about 150 million dollars by none other than himself. Apparently the man wakes up undecided about which car to drive or which 10, 000 dollar suit to wear. I hear some of these billionaires houses are so huge that when Mr. Kaguta flies overhead, he mistakes them for vocational schools. How i wish the donors paid more attention to these tales of lavishness amidst spiralling poverty in this nation. How i wish some of these money bags gurus could donate 1/1000 of their dime for procuring mosquito nets for the multitudes of kids dying in the rural hells of this country. Who knows, some of these kids having been snatched from the fangs of death by the gurus would provide casual labour for them in future. Why casual labour? You may ask. But remember the education system is having its qualitative fibre devoured at breakneck speed by the powers that be. BEHOLD THE PEARL OF AFRICA!

Ugandan Govt hospitals full of expired drugs

Its such a shame that several government hospitals, including Mulago, have huge stockpiles of expired drugs which could be dispensed to patients. In October 2007, Lwani brought to your attention the crisis in the health sector in Northern Uganda with the above picture being just a tip of the iceberg. In this picture, a section of several patients queue at a health Centre in Mucwini, Kitgum district, Northern Uganda all hoping to see the lone nursing assistant manning the health centre. In several cases their visits are futile because the nurse gets tired and goes away leaving these patients helpless. Today the Monitor newspaper reports that huge stockpiles of drugs have expired before reaching the multitudes of indisposed Ugandans. What a shame! Malinga and Zaramba should step up their monitoring and evaluation lest the Ugandan health sector is running closer to the dogs.

Co-existence

On a recent trip to northern Uganda, i was impressed by the semblace of co-existence between humans and apes...baboons. I this particular case a baboon majestically strolls past a lady at Karuma bridge.