The NSSF saga..Keeping the tradition

Its not uncommon to hear the African adage...When you are eating, you are not supposed to talk and indeed when they were eating, there was no talking till Mwenda heard the chewing and swallowing and broke the news that the Monitor later on capitalised upon. True to tradition, Mr. Jamwa and accomplices did not talk till the eating was done.

The Moral of the story: Always keep your mouth either busy eating or talking but not both at a go. The choice is yours.

Corruption: The most established peagant on Uganda's "moral" contest

As records keep being made and broken in the battle of who the smartest corrupt civil servant is, Ugandans ought to look at the lighter side of this corruption pageant. Initially tales of corruption scandals took the ordinary Ugandan with shock, anger and bitterness but thanks to the dynamics of the day, surprise is no more. Ugandans have learnt not just to live with corruption but to envy the gurus of corruption as well. It is not uncommon to find Ugandans labelling corrupt people as “sharp” and those who are unable to outwit the system as “fala”. While all this labelling goes on, civil servants are locked in different races and various leagues trying to out-do eachother. In this contest, the size of the "loot" determines the "glory" at stake. Depending on which championship you win or lose, you will either become a "sharp" guy or a "falla."

What is the moral of this labelling? The optimism that Ugandans had two decades ago, regarding socio-economic progress has been dashed by the inherent inequalities of the system. The bulk of Ugandans are desperately poor, jobless and desperate, while the few are making strides at an alarming pace often bruising the toes of the less fortunate. The end result is an ever widening social divide which has left the underprivileged yearning for opportunities to “eat” as well. The end result....two desperate classes...one desperate to extend their dominance in eating and determining who takes what where and for how long and the other to get to the eating table.

When one visits the numerous bufundas where ordinary folks gather to wash away their stress and vent their frustrations, talk of Jamwa Chandi being a sharp young man and the Amamas tying to eat in order to catch up with their junior colleagues who have out-eaten them in earlier deals predominates. In the eyes of many ordinary Ugandans, corruption is a means to an end...a bus that can surely get one out of the path of the dreaded elephant...poverty. In anycase, not all that is immoral is bad after all, and corruption can be functionally positive in the eyes of many in the pearl of Africa.

Molokony....Uganda's ever trendy delicacy

A woman munches away at a hoof....restaurants that want to survive in bizness should add this delicacy to their menu.
One of the fondest memories of nutrition and my childhood is molokony...cow hooves for that matter. Once upon a time my siblings and i visited an aunt and she presented us with a huge chunk of meat, armed us with knives and welcomed us for lunch. It turns out that this was my inception into eating molokony. Recently i got a nostalgic feeling when i was at Transit Bar...opposite UMA show grounds in Kampala. Patrons and gurus were biting molokony and sipping soup with the traditional sound that characterises a child eating porriedge. Of course, boiled cassava was handy. A colleague of mine affirmed that this was a major attraction to the venue.



However, i also noticed that the misses and mistresses were shunning the cow hooves and opting for "Daudi Muteweta"....roasted swine caracases. In my heart i was like ...Happy are the ignorant for they do not know what they are missing.



Little do these misses and mistresses know that molokony is rich food especially for people suffering from the bone conditions of osteomalacia and osteoporosis and highly recommended for people with gout.


Osteomalacia is a disease occurring mostly in adult women that results from a deficiency in vitamin D or calcium and is characterised by a softening of the bones with accompanying pain and weakness while osteoporosis which literally means “porous bones”, occurs when bones lose an excessive amount of their protein and mineral content, particularly calcium.
In the case of osteoporosis, with time, bone mass and thus bone strength is decreased, resulting into bones becoming fragile and easy to break.


Most cases of osteoporosis occur as an acceleration of the normal aging process- referred to as primary osteoporosis. Thus, the aging group could potentially benefit from the delicacy.



So folks, please let them know about MOLOKONY..the real deal!

Of Kampala's much-sought-after buses

By now Kampalans who have passed by the constitutional square, especially at rush hours, must have noticed the lengthy fat queues awaiting entry into the "pioneer easy bus" buses.......while the taxi conductors jealously look on. It is clear there is a huge demand for these services majorly because of the lower charges in contrast with taxis. This leaves me wondering why more buses are not brought in. Imagine, when i move by these buses from town to Mutungo, i save 500 shillings as opposed to taxis. Am reliably informed that the savings of my folks from Gayaza actually doubles mine courtesy of these orange buses. Am yet to present graphical images of these queues, but for now...this is adequate for letting the powers that be, or their proxies know the urgency of these bus services. May we see more buses in the near future....Amen!

From the calm of the countryside to the hustle of Kampala

Accustomed to the relative calm and quiet of the countryside, only to be hit by the noise, dust and congestion in Kampala when i returned at the weekend. I must say "Kamunyes" or bread vans cum human vans donning blue and white stripes are one of Kampala's biggest tourist attractions or repellants, depending on which side of the debate you are on.

I always tell people who care to listen that the "Kamunye" industry is the biggest employer in Kampala with hundreds if not thousands of young men acting as drivers, conductors, stage monitors, taxi park sellers, ticket sellers and taxi guides to mention a few. But does Kampala need all these hundreds of taxis that only worsen the already nagging traffic jams and pollution? The other day, Ugandan journalist Timothy Kalyegira commented that if the smoke hovering over the olympic bird's nest in Beijing is what the west calls high levels of pollution then Kampala could possibly be declared a no-go zone. This summarizes the pollution levels in Kampala.

This time round, as i was travelling, fewer passengers risked eating "nyama choma" or roasted meat on the way maybe because of the fear of unsuspectingly eating dogs. As you may be aware, a couple of weeks ago, some Kampalans were nabbed slaughtering a dog and a few days later a local tabloid reported that hundreds of stray dogs in Kyambogo-a Kampala suburb had disappeared and it was feared that this meat is on sale to unsuspecting customers.

Otherwise, it was nice returning to Mutungo after a long time in Kitgum. They say East or West....Nyumbani ni bora....

Be blessed

Northern Uganda: Away from hand-outs

For starters, rains are raging in most parts of northern Uganda and there is relative calm at the moment.

As the rains continue to rage in most parts of Northern Uganda, the natives are responding logically by getting down to business-tilling the land. Openning of large chunks of land remains a challenge due to heavy reliance on the hand hoe. Considering that the terrain is compartible with animal traction, local leaders and policy makers should devise means of advocating for and supporting animal traction so as to enhance bigger scale production and gradually reduce subsistence production.This is the right course if the region is to move away from hand-outs from NGOs. Hopefully WFP will be out of business by December.

Monkey Sex

While humans have Have Chosen Codependence Over Independence & Trademarked it Love, Monkeys have taken love and satisfaction to another level. There are endless tales of humans so madly in love but devoid of sexual satisfaction. Our distant cousins..the monkeys...have on the other hand perfected the art of satisfaction derived from sex.

It seems male monkeys can’t orgasm unless the female they are mating with screams out his name, well I am only guessing it’s his name, the report stated that the females utter loud distinctive calls while fornicating which incites the males thrusting mechanism and results in ejaculation 59% of the time! Who knew there were scientists on the planet sitting around watching monkey sex and counting the number of thrusts? I don’t think I did want to know this, did you?

Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha. Don't try this out in your bedroom.